Cheers to Platonic Relationships!!!

hehe, i feel nostalgic today... and so i've revisited my high school files. then i found this article, which at that time, i can so relate to. (well, paminsan din ngayon.. hehe!) I'm posting this for all the high school kids out there and the people who still are going through this experience. i've always liked this article, it's so funny. tinamaan ako e... :) Warning: mejo mahaba ata. :) -------------------------------------------------------- If Platonic Ain’t Cool, Then What Is? By Amy Craeg Matagal mo na siyang kilala…siguro mga isang taon na. Lagi mo siyang kasama, magkakabit na nga ang mga bituka niyo, eh. Pareho ang mga trip niyo sa buhay kaya hindi kayo nauubusan ng pag-uusapan o gagawin. You find the same jokes funny. Pag turn-off sa iyo, ganun din sa kanya. Super concerned siya sa iyo, as in, he knows when you are not feeling well and what to do when you’re down. Alam mo kapag bad trip siya. Takbuhan niyo ang isa’t isa kapag may problema. Kapag kayong dalawa ang magkasama, parang may sarili kayong mundo. Kahit tawa lang kayo ng tawa, wala kayong pakialam. Basta ang importante, you have each other’s company. You feel so comfortable that holding hands and hugging seem natural. He makes you feel so special and loved that you suddenly have the urges of kissing him. Help! Help! Help! Pare, hindi puede! Bakit, kayo ba? Ouch! Bakit ka namumula? What did I say? You look so affected! Wala naman akong ginawa, ‘di ba? I just asked the right question. Well, sorry ka na lang magaling ako! Don’t panic!!! Relax. Take a deep breath and say…banana! One more time now…banana! Concentrate. Focus. Try to look back. Ano ang nakikita mo? Sino ang iniisip mo? SIYA. Syet! You are starting to realize how cool he is. Syeter! You are beginning to miss him. Syetest!!! You are actually in love with him. Banana!!! What ‘dja gonna do, bullet? Duh?! Frankly, my dear, I have no idea. Yes, after making you admit to yourself that you’re in a situation that could change your entire life, I will leave you hanging. Teka, hindi naman ako ganun kasama. Okay, let’s see what we can do. First, kailangan nating I-establish that your feelings for him go beyond friendship. Now the question is…does he feel the same way? How the hell are you going to find out? Aha! Go to him and ask it right to his face. Do you labs me? Grabe, parang puede. Do you have the guts to do it? Do it, girl! I’m right behind you, theoretically speaking. Eniwey, you still have the option of whether you would like to know or not. Think. Think hard. Look, ano ba ang nangyayari ngayon? Don’t you feel that, somehow, you are being used for convenience? Imagine – no commitment, no strings attached. Hindi lang iyon. Super malambing siya sa iyo, pero bigla siyang babanat na may crush siyang ibang girl. It hoyts, ‘di ba? And, once in a while, hihirit siya sa iyo na parang nagpapahaging that he likes you, sabay bawi. Kakainis! What’s worse is that since you feel something deeper for him, sometimes you tend to read too much sa mga ipinapakita niyang affection sa iyo. Thus, you kinda think na “meron” din siya. Then you’ll end up frustrated but you can’t do anything about it. Damn, it sucks!!! Kaya, the best thing to do is to set things straight. End your miseries and be merry. It would be better na alamin niyo kung ano ba talaga para you wouldn’t miss this opportunity and be doomed to live the rest of your life wondering what if , just what if… Who knows, it might be you and him together forever. Kay saya! How ispektakolar! So, if platonic ain’t cool, then what is? Well, what do you think?

Christmas...

... makes me feel sad. Sigh.. i just feel so sad right now... :(

My Christmas Wish List

It maybe a little late, and some people might have done this already.. but i'm doing this for myself. Hehe! I'm posting here my top ten wish list for this christmas. I'm hoping that you, my friends, will have an idea on what to give (and will give) to me this christmas. :D 10. A box of good quality dark chocolates. (Yum!) 9. A coffee jug/mug with Cafe Mocha in it from Starbucks. (coffee addict!) 8. The "ten years of friends book". (i am a fan!) 7. Any X-men / Spiderman / Batman/ Superman / Sandman comic book. (i just like them.) 6. Any cute or classy clothes. (so i can look like a WOMAN. haha! ) 5. A cheap, but classy watch. (I just broke mine, huhu!) 4. Any cool gadget or technology. (i'm such a geek.) 3. Something you (my giver) cooked. (oh, so sweet!) 2. Something you (my giver) made, except for food coz that's number 3. :D (oh, much sweeter!) 1. Any surprise you've thought of. (i'm a sucker for surprises. :D) I'll be going home by the 24th. I'll be expecting your gifts before that. haha! joke lang. Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!! :)

I miss blogging...

maybe i'll be back again... someday. i'll see you again. just wait for me, ok? :) blah! drama. hehe! i'm still busy e. i'll go back to blogging as soon as I get rid of the things on my hands now. Blog on! :)

B**ch Fest

Has anyone seen the movie White Chicks starring the Wayan(?) brothers? I watched it last week with Faye and i really liked it. This is where i learned the expression, "BF (Bitch Fest)!!" You just have to be a total bitch to have one. --- And speaking of BF, i think i just had one last week and i hated myself for it. I've become a total bitch to people i know, and people i don't know. So i just want to take this moment to apologize to them.

• To Allen who invited Luz to sleep in our apartment, and Luz who stayed in our apartment, I'm sorry for being not so friendly (not talking) to you last monday. I brought home my bad trip which was caused by an argument with a boss earlier that day.
• To my officemates, to whom i released my stress. I'm sorry for my sudden tantrum last Tuesday. I'm really glad you're still talking to me. :)
• To the Ateneans who "mistakingly" occupied our rooms when we were in Tali. I just hated the way you acted (as if we bothered you), when you are the one who made a mistake. I'm sorry because i could have talked to you nicely, but i was just too tired.
• To the girl in MushroomBurger, who claim to be a student selling cards to help something. I'm sorry for dismissing you before you can even finish your speech.
• And again to my officemates who i've been mostly with during my bitching days. thank you for keeping up with me.

Fortunately, i think my BF is over. Something happened yesterday which would typically piss me off but surprisingly, it did not even bother me. I guess relaxing at the beach last weekend mellowed me down. --- I was in Tali Beach in Batangas last weekend. The place is not like Montemar but it's pretty clean and beutiful. I do not know how to swim but i still enjoyed hanging out on the shallow part of the sea. The house where we stayed in was already old and there was no TV. But simple living had encouraged us to just drink, jam and kwentuhan, which i guess is what made the experience wonderful. It was really a good weekend and i just wish i had a longer vacation. --- Don't worry about a thing Coz every little thing is gonna be alright! -"Everything is Gonna Be Alright" by Bob Marley (the ultimate beach song)

...

Dear *you*, I miss you, i miss having my best friend. i feel so lost right now. I feel as if i have no one to turn to and there's no place to go... Sorry ha, naiinis na lang talaga kasi ako e. Kasalanan ko ba to? Parang alam ko, wala naman akong ginawang masama. Di ko naman sinabi na sambahin mo ko, na katakutan mo ko, na mas mataas ako sa yo. Simple lang naman yung hinihingi ko ngayon e, RESPETO. Respetuhin mo lang kung sino ako, ang kalagayan ko. Seryoso ako sa pakikisama sa yo, eh ikaw ba? It's not your fault. I know you've always been there for me, but i never really thought that i need you, not at this time. And i know you have seen me as the strong one, that i can be left alone. And though the whole of me wanted to cry out, I still won't say that i need someone... Tinanggap ko na nga nung ipinantay mo sya sa akin. Kahit naghati kami sa dapat akin lang, ok lang talaga sa akin, ok naman syang tao sa akin. Tapos ngayon, parang gusto nyo pang kunin ang hati ko, at ibigay na sa kanya ang dapat sanang akin. Sana nung umpisa pa lang sa kanya mo na lang binigay lahat. Kaysa naman pinatikim mo pa ko, tapos ngayon babawiin mo. Because there's no point in calling out. I don't know why, there's a reason that i not know how to put into words. I just feel so sad right now. Nakakagalit. Akala ko pa naman magkaibigan tayo, ikaw pa pala ang gagawa nito sa akin.

sabi nila masama daw mainggit

but i just can't help it. ----------- i should be in France now, the number one in my "countries to visit" list. Two of our games were shortlisted as finalists in the java challenge sponsored by Orange and Nokia, and as a sort of price, we were given invites to attend their Code Camp in France. I was the developer for one of the games, and the invites were supposed to be FOR US, the developers. but for some reason, my manager took one of the invites. so to avoid issues and just make the long discussion short, pumayag akong maiwan na lang. (Fact: nung pumayag akong magpaiwan, di ko alam na sa France pala yung event. engot! hay...) I felt ok with my decision until last week, i learned that manager wasn't allowed by the bosses of our company to leave (the main reason being what a manager like him, who doesn't even know how to zip files, will do in a code camp). Nakakainis, sayang lang yung invite, akin na lang sana di ba?! grr.. ---------- Last week, Faye told me that a college kabarkada of us (a former suitor of mine) just acquired a new car. I think he emailed her and even sent her some picture. Then again before, another friend of us (also a former suitor) told her that he just got a new girlfriend, the girl he'd been courting for so many years finally gave him a chance. These guys used to be my best friends, and I was their best friend too. Or so i thought. After all, the "best friendship" was only present during the panliligaw. it's just sad that i used to know a lot and more about these people than anyone else; but now it seems i'm always one of the last ones to know. Tapos kadalasan pa ng nangyayari, mas close na sila sa closest friends ko. i miss these people who i've shared a great deal and significant part of my life. I, or most probably my ego, just find it hard to accept that i'm just now "someone i used to know" person in their lives; or maybe lower. Di naman ako nagpapaligaw uli noh! I just want to be "friends" with them, at the least. i know that they know that i loved them, just not in the way that they wanted me to. Bitter ba sila?! ---------- i've been in this mobile game development company for over a year now and i haven't done a game of my own. i've always been the connectivity and network person; that's why my games usually require two developers when usually there's just one developer for one game. and now that i've been assigned a managing job, i find it harder now to assign a game to myself. i miss developing. Gosh, i even miss the frustration brought about by a "non-working yet can't find the bug" program. it's just sick! Note: nung monday pa dapat ang blog na to. absent ako kahapon so ngayon ko lang natapos. hihi!

i have a problem...

I'm having a VERY hard time falling asleep. Before, it takes me around an hour to fall asleep after lying down. But due to a stressful project since last month, it became harder to fall asleep. Now usually it takes me around 2 hours. But i'm afraid that it's getting worse. Last night, it took me more than 3 hours!! waah! i was so frustrated i wanted to cry. I'm seriously thinking of getting a prescription for some sleeping pills. waah!!

U.P. Fight!!!

haha! i can't believe it! UP just won against Ateneo earlier in the 2nd round of UAAP basketball games. And it's their 6th straight win. Ika nga ni officemate Pol, "baligtad na ata ang mundo". Well for me, even if they don't make it to the finals this year, i'm happy. "Panalo pa rin e!" this is something new for us mga Iskolar ng Bayan. wahaha! :)

taking a break do some sort of promotion

Hi guys! i invite you all to try (and test) our newest application, CubeBlog (www.cubeblog.com)! Currently, it's still on beta version, but it will be formally released by mid-September. So check it out and tell me your comments, suggestions and etc. thanks! :) Just a little introduction on our product... There are two ways to go CubeBlogging: one is through a free application to be installed on your wap-enabled and/or camera phone, and the other one is through the internet by just going to www.cubeblog.com. All you need is one account and you could go blogging any way you want, anytime and anywhere! For more information, visit www.cubeblog.com. To download the free mobile application, go to http://mobilegames.epldt.net. Enjoy blogging! Please spread the word. thanks! :)

i'm missing...

i miss writing, or rather, ranting here in my blog. i'm not a good writer and i know i'll never be eloquent, even if my life depended on it. it always takes a couple of minutes for me to write a very short blog, just like this. and i cannot even waste a few minutes of my time. a modern day slave, that's what i am. tsk! i can't wait to be a rich housewife. hehe! --- faye, did you get this right? "If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn’t be so confused And I wouldn’t feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you" - Linger by The Cranberries

craving for some sleep

This is so not me. I've been sleep-deprived for some WEEKS now. Grrr!!! Breakouts on my face, my eye bags are getting bigger everyday. Dry hair and allergies due to fatigue. But the worst thing is, my work load is not getting any lesser. After those many sleepless nights?!!? argh!!! so frustrating. i'm sleepy...

my chain of thoughts

i have nothing in particular to write about. but there are lots of things going on my mind now. i'll try to write them all down. BLOGGING RANDOMNESS!!!! hahaha! ... The song in my head is the one playing right now in my winamp. I've heard of the title of this song long before but really don't know the song... until now. Every little thing he does is magic Every thing he does just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for him goes on - revival by Make Your Momma Proud (MYMP) ... Sigh... i just realized that i love my job. But the pay is just too damn low. But then again, i just got promoted so there was a promise of a raise, i just don't know when i'll get it. Kaya lang, there's another company who had given me a job offer. It's bigger than my current salary but it might be lower than what i'll get after my promotion is formalized. I'm just so confused right now. And that company has been calling me since this morning. i've been trying to avoid it... yikes! ... I was so irritated last night. Bad trip talaga! And now when i remember it, i get irritated again. Grr... I wanted to watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" yesterday coz it might be gone by today. (and guess what, i was right!) Some officemates of mine already promised they'll go with me, but backed-out the last minute. Wala na naman akong mahatak na iba the last minute. And so there, i missed it! I was so irritated i went home early. Grrr.... ... i'm hungry... it's lunch time. i guess i should eat now. sorry for such nonsense post.

get ready for the icky yuck stuff

I know it's old, but i just recently (about 3 weeks ago) appreciated the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank. The lyrics are great, the song made sense (it's hard to find original and sensible songs lately). "I've found a reason for me To change who i used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you..." --Ganda di ba? Also, it so happened that i catched "A Walk to Remember" in HBO a few nights ago. I find it hard to admit but ok, i liked the movie (but still hates Mandy Moore). The part i liked was when Shane West was already changing into this "dream guy" every lady would love to have (giving up the bad habits, fighting for his love, respecting Jamie...). He was changing for the better and the reason was she. I know it's unfair, but i guess for most girls, it's a very big factor/plus/bonus when a guy changes for her. And it's actually better if the request for change did not come from us, but out of the guy's "love" to make us "happy". Hehe! I'm sorry, i don't know if I'm just talking for myself or I'm simply making a statement here. But being the reason why a man would like to become a better person makes us feel important in his life. By important, i don't mean for it to sound like ego boosting or power tripping. Important as in respected and unconditionally loved. But don't worry men, though it seems we like changing guys, most girls still are not shallow-minded. Like during my younger years, i've had suitors who "changed" for me (like giving up smoking, gambling, etc.), but would return to who they are the moment i wasn't around anymore. And yet the only boyfriend i had was the person i wanted the most to change but never changed, I guess that's why he got me. (haha! ok, so that's just how much i'll talk about my personal relationship here). I want to be the reason for someone out there. Am i being conceited? I think we all do want to be the reason. Though i said before that i would never change for anyone, i now realized that we always have room for improvement. And so i want to find my reason, too. Well well well, i have 2 years left to do that. Har! Har!

life as what it seems

"But falling over you   is the news of the day   And love will not fade away" - by Counting Crows   I'm in love with this song. And every time i hear it, i seem to fall in love. It brings me back to those years when I was still very idealistic on the concept of "love".  When i believed that love would just be the same as those stories you read from Sweet Dreams or whatever (note: i have never read any Judith McNaught (?) book). But i'm not going to talk about love, because no matter what some people think, i am not, even the least of an expert on the subject of love. :p My point is how we all used to think so simply and not know much about real life. Before, i have always viewed everything as what it seems (despite the saying); what you see is what you get.   And now, when everything gets hectic and as complicated as your brain can handle, my escape is to get back to those times.  It's pretty fun to remember the "problems" I used to have and now laugh on just how silly it was. And it's quite comforting to think that someday, i will just laugh on the so-called "problems" i'm dealing with now. (sa mga concerned: don't worry, wala naman talaga akong seryosong problema ngayon e. hehe!)   It's funny how human nature works. When i was young, i can't wait to be all grown-up.  And now that i have quite grown, i sometimes wish that everything would just be as simple as before. Makes me wonder when will i become contented with life.  

busy bee

Been very busy lately, though i haven't really accomplished much of what i should have done. I was just given new responsibilities and so i ended up neglecting my previous project. Work sucks!   Anyway, now I discovered that blogger was updated. Better looking, i think.

nostalgic attack

Every day when I arrive in the office, the very first application I open is Winamp. It is on auto-play, shuffle mode and the loaded playlist contains all the songs in my MP3 folder. So this morning, the first song I heard was “American Junk” by Apo Hiking Society. Ok, so this may not be the type of song that would make anyone nostalgic. The beat, the lyrics, the song itself; they were just not right. But it did. This is one of the songs that would make me miss high school. Definitely, high school year were the best years of my life (and fourth year will be the best among the four). And so, I’ve thought about those songs that will never fail to remind me of high school. Here’s my top 10 high school songs: Songs: 1. “Hotel California” - Need I explain this? Ok, for those who don’t remember (kung meron man), two words: fair, amado. 2. “Vulnerable” by Roxette – I used to really like this song during 2nd year and so every time I hear it, I remember 2nd year. Haha! And I can still hear Basuel singing with it, “like china in japan…” 3. “Hilo” by Rivermaya – Amado’s interpretative dance. I can’t even remember mine, but I remember his. Never fails to bring a tear in my eye. 4. “Semi-Charmed Life” – During the time this song was so popular, all the bands (except Invictus of course) wanted to play it for the upcoming SAMAPI concert. But they were all thinking that the other bands might play it. So it ended up that no band played this song. 5. “Got to Believe in Magic” and “King and Queen of Hearts” – the ultimate prom songs 6. “Lea” by Toto– I just can’t forget it when Jonas sang it during SAMAPI’s Retro concert. Very nice. 7. “The Bomb” – the song we danced to in 3rd year, awakened my love for dancing and prompted me to create SAGALA. Does anyone know the title of the other song we danced to? Chinese ata yun or something e… 8. “Just Take My Heart” by Mr. Big – By 4th year, Invictus finally had the guts to play this in a concert. My favorite piece of ours. 9. “Beauty and Madness” by Fra Lippo Lippi – waah!! I miss Oliver’s piano playing. And jem singing with it. Hehe! 10. "Last Dance” – ok, I’m not sure about this; I think this was the last song played during Grad Ball. If not, I’m just definite this was played during grad ball. By the way, songs from Eraserheads 1st and Circus album were not included here, because they will already fill the list. Also not included are the songs from Parokya ni Edgar's Khang Khung Hernitz and Burugudunstuystugudunstuy albums. I've long before associated these albums to high school. *** Add: Included in my top ten: "Sana ay Mahalin Mo Pa Rin Ako" by April Boys. Yes, april boys: sobrang baduy. But the sampa boys, led by Marc Basuel have a very cute rendition of it, you just can't help but like it. Like i told Jae, I like this song, but haven't heard it for a long time so i kinda forgot about it. Hmm... maybe i should download it. Hehe! thanks for the reminder, jae.

dreams

"paano ka tatama kung di ka tataya?" - Ted Hannah by Parokya ni Edgar I usually have trouble sleeping at night. It's because my body is still used to sleeping very late and waking up very late too. haha! Anyway, to lull me to sleep, i usually think of something.. a dream actually. It's rare that I think seriously about life, it would only make me lose more sleep. My dreams would always be something nonsense, pure imagination. :) My favorite dream is getting rich, actually winning in the lottery (instantly becoming rich). This dream was inspired by a story of my roommate wherein she had an officemate who won 100 million pesos in Lotto. This officemate of hers bought a house and lot in wack-wack village, a bmw car, and immediately resigned in his job as a phonebanker. What's quite irritating is, his (my housemate's officemate) family are already rich to start with. Argh!! That money could have gone to other less fortunate people... Well anyway, I'll usually dream about this; what would i do if I have a 100 million pesos? =D So here's what I've "decided" so far on what to do with "my money": 1. I'll have my father retire from work so he and my mother could tour around the world, just how they dreamed to do it. Guess, I'll give them 8 million for now. Of course, i could always give them more money afterwards. 2. I'll buy a house and lot for my brother and his family, and another car if he wants to. Then maybe give them additional 4 million to spend and save for my nephew's education. Knowing my brother and being the "kuripot" that he is, he'll spend his money wisely. 3. My sister is too young to give her money, so maybe i'll just buy her a new phone and computer (maybe a laptop since she's a journalist). And/or maybe a car, then give her a 2 million account. I'll trust her with more money once she grows up more. 4. For myself, I'll buy a condo here in makati, a house and lot in tagaytay, and a SUV (i'm not very fond of cars). Then shop for furnitures and clothes (yes lately, i prefer to buy furniture than clothes). So I estimate and hope to be spending about 40-45 million for these. Let's say I still have 60 million, this I will use for business and charity. But this is the part I usually start falling asleep and never really get to decide. But partly, I've decided to buy a "Jollibee" franchise, because I'm sure this will be quite profitable for a long time. And also, I want to have the church in my hometown renovated, just like the one i used to go to here in makati: 2 floors, air-conditioned. For charity, I want to either have a hospital or school. Of course, either of these will be free for the poor. But I want them to have the most advanced equipments that the rich will want to go there too. And to go there, they have to invest or pay, and maybe that's where i'll get more money to finance it. For business, I haven't decided yet if I want a KTV House, an IT company, or something else. They have to be interesting though... for me. Hehe! "paano ka tatama kung di ka tataya?" - Ted Hannah by Parokya ni Edgar This is my favorite dream. I usually think about it, too often in fact that there was a moment I believed it was real. I wanted it to be real too, who wouldn't? And then, I heard this song, heard this line. Immediately, I remembered this dream. It's fun to think about things like these, but I'm still too lazy to even place a bet. It's because I usually think it's very improbable to win in the lottery. But it's not just this dream. I usually think about achieving something, but I don't do anything to get it. I don't like taking risks and usually, improbable things like this feels to be just a waste of time. That's why I usually ponder over this line. It's right, I know. Di ko lang talaga kayang gawin.

a theme of sorts

I've decided to put a not-so-theme in this blog. It won't be strict, but most of the time, it will be the center of my "rantings". Or maybe not the center, just connected... haha! ang labo! basta ganun, ok? Anyway, it's just that I always have some song in my head. Or sometimes, a line from a song will get stuck and makes me think about something in life. haha! baduy ba? Basta, this is how it will be from now on. This blog is for my rantings in life and that song i can't get out of my head. Of course, this post and the other 2 before it are exempted from the theme. (Para lang makaiwas sa mga pilosopo.)

hi! I'm tseri, I'm an addict.

I was so late for work today. Too late in fact, that if I were 5 minutes later, I'll be forced to declare a half-day leave. Certainly, the obvious question will be "Why was I late?". The answer: Sing-all-you-want videoke! Yes. Every Mondays and Tuesdays, my favorite KTV house has a promo where a minimum group of 3 could sing as long as their throats will allow for ONLY 180 pesos per person (for those raising their eyebrows, i'm telling you, this is actually cheap if you're in MAKATI). We arrived there around 9:30pm and sang non-stop for 5 hours. Now, I can't carry a tune even if my life depended on it, I know that much. Yet I keep coming back to these KTV houses. Too often actually that you could find me in one at least 3x a month. Inside the four sound-proof* walls of a videoke room, I vent out my frustrations, stress and worries. And that's what makes KTV houses perfect for "singers" like me. It is good for my sanity. *Note: Ok, so it may not be really "sound-proof", but who cares?! It's almost certain that you don't know those people in the next room, and what are the odds that you'll ever see them again?

my first post

Actually, i don't know why i'm doing this. Maybe because I have nothing else to do. Or maybe because i want to have a "personality" in the net. Just yesterday, my friend Jae showed me my bestfriends' blog page. I was quite surprised to hear my friends "talk" that way, when I haven't even imagined them in that light. And so, maybe that's it, too. I have created this to let those who know me, "hear" me this way. Because certainly, some of them don't know this part of me.