i'm missing...

i miss writing, or rather, ranting here in my blog. i'm not a good writer and i know i'll never be eloquent, even if my life depended on it. it always takes a couple of minutes for me to write a very short blog, just like this. and i cannot even waste a few minutes of my time. a modern day slave, that's what i am. tsk! i can't wait to be a rich housewife. hehe! --- faye, did you get this right? "If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn’t be so confused And I wouldn’t feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you" - Linger by The Cranberries

craving for some sleep

This is so not me. I've been sleep-deprived for some WEEKS now. Grrr!!! Breakouts on my face, my eye bags are getting bigger everyday. Dry hair and allergies due to fatigue. But the worst thing is, my work load is not getting any lesser. After those many sleepless nights?!!? argh!!! so frustrating. i'm sleepy...

my chain of thoughts

i have nothing in particular to write about. but there are lots of things going on my mind now. i'll try to write them all down. BLOGGING RANDOMNESS!!!! hahaha! ... The song in my head is the one playing right now in my winamp. I've heard of the title of this song long before but really don't know the song... until now. Every little thing he does is magic Every thing he does just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for him goes on - revival by Make Your Momma Proud (MYMP) ... Sigh... i just realized that i love my job. But the pay is just too damn low. But then again, i just got promoted so there was a promise of a raise, i just don't know when i'll get it. Kaya lang, there's another company who had given me a job offer. It's bigger than my current salary but it might be lower than what i'll get after my promotion is formalized. I'm just so confused right now. And that company has been calling me since this morning. i've been trying to avoid it... yikes! ... I was so irritated last night. Bad trip talaga! And now when i remember it, i get irritated again. Grr... I wanted to watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" yesterday coz it might be gone by today. (and guess what, i was right!) Some officemates of mine already promised they'll go with me, but backed-out the last minute. Wala na naman akong mahatak na iba the last minute. And so there, i missed it! I was so irritated i went home early. Grrr.... ... i'm hungry... it's lunch time. i guess i should eat now. sorry for such nonsense post.

get ready for the icky yuck stuff

I know it's old, but i just recently (about 3 weeks ago) appreciated the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank. The lyrics are great, the song made sense (it's hard to find original and sensible songs lately). "I've found a reason for me To change who i used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you..." --Ganda di ba? Also, it so happened that i catched "A Walk to Remember" in HBO a few nights ago. I find it hard to admit but ok, i liked the movie (but still hates Mandy Moore). The part i liked was when Shane West was already changing into this "dream guy" every lady would love to have (giving up the bad habits, fighting for his love, respecting Jamie...). He was changing for the better and the reason was she. I know it's unfair, but i guess for most girls, it's a very big factor/plus/bonus when a guy changes for her. And it's actually better if the request for change did not come from us, but out of the guy's "love" to make us "happy". Hehe! I'm sorry, i don't know if I'm just talking for myself or I'm simply making a statement here. But being the reason why a man would like to become a better person makes us feel important in his life. By important, i don't mean for it to sound like ego boosting or power tripping. Important as in respected and unconditionally loved. But don't worry men, though it seems we like changing guys, most girls still are not shallow-minded. Like during my younger years, i've had suitors who "changed" for me (like giving up smoking, gambling, etc.), but would return to who they are the moment i wasn't around anymore. And yet the only boyfriend i had was the person i wanted the most to change but never changed, I guess that's why he got me. (haha! ok, so that's just how much i'll talk about my personal relationship here). I want to be the reason for someone out there. Am i being conceited? I think we all do want to be the reason. Though i said before that i would never change for anyone, i now realized that we always have room for improvement. And so i want to find my reason, too. Well well well, i have 2 years left to do that. Har! Har!

life as what it seems

"But falling over you   is the news of the day   And love will not fade away" - by Counting Crows   I'm in love with this song. And every time i hear it, i seem to fall in love. It brings me back to those years when I was still very idealistic on the concept of "love".  When i believed that love would just be the same as those stories you read from Sweet Dreams or whatever (note: i have never read any Judith McNaught (?) book). But i'm not going to talk about love, because no matter what some people think, i am not, even the least of an expert on the subject of love. :p My point is how we all used to think so simply and not know much about real life. Before, i have always viewed everything as what it seems (despite the saying); what you see is what you get.   And now, when everything gets hectic and as complicated as your brain can handle, my escape is to get back to those times.  It's pretty fun to remember the "problems" I used to have and now laugh on just how silly it was. And it's quite comforting to think that someday, i will just laugh on the so-called "problems" i'm dealing with now. (sa mga concerned: don't worry, wala naman talaga akong seryosong problema ngayon e. hehe!)   It's funny how human nature works. When i was young, i can't wait to be all grown-up.  And now that i have quite grown, i sometimes wish that everything would just be as simple as before. Makes me wonder when will i become contented with life.