it's official

and i'm starting to feel sad. like a hard habit to break.

i finally did it

... played Dota (outside the office) with people i DONT KNOW. Last Saturday, after Sam's dedication and drinking session in IC's, Celsus, Nikki, Alekos, Po and I decided to play DoTA in one of the netcafes in the area. I have been playing DoTA for almost 2 years now, but i have never played outside the office (except in Anino) and battle against complete strangers. The mode was -AP and it took me a while to choose my character (i was too scared to just pick randomly). Finally i settled for Phantom Assassin, one of my best characters, and did what i usually do. To make the long story short, my "strategy" didn't work there and i got beaten (they were always after me since ako lang babae and it seems i didnt know what i was doing. che!). Damn, i was the 3rd lowest scorer. Something i haven't seen in a while and and it hurt my ego. huhuh... So there, i have learned a few things in that game and i plan na bumawi next time. I just need a few more "practice" and prove i can be "1" in DoTA. Grrr... ------------------------------------------------------ ... resign from my job. Two and a half years of working in ePLDT... ayoko na!!! I had taken as much BS and corporate politics as i can just to get through it. And now that they are taking all the reasons that made me stay this long, there's nothing worth it for me here anymore. I will file my resignation next week and take a terminal leave starting end of january. I had been wanting to resign since 2003 but i have learned to love the people and my work. It is very hard to leave something you love and that's what made me stay. But most of the people and the work are gone and it's like starting all over again. So now before i fall again and lose the courage, i will resign now! congratulate me!!! :P ------------------------------------------------------- lots of things are happening around me lately. i have always been scared of changes. but i now accept that i am getting old every day and i have to start doing the things i want in life. i want to fall in love with a serious job, i want to go to places and become more mature. i have always loved high school but i know now that it is time to let go and "get out" of it.

new year things-to-do

1. start saving money!!! (i barely have a 10k savings account) 2. find a new job (a real job, maybe) 3. start that business we've been planning (please support us!) 4. learn to cook or learn wood working. (i should be more useful at home) 5. pay all my debts (damn credit cards!) 6. choose a sport and play 7. learn how to swim 8. get out of luzon and go to visayas or mindanao! 9. trim! 10. take a real vacation

to the last 7 years

i learned how to be apathetic, to care for no one but yourself, to ignore change, to take what matters most for granted, to forget and to be really unhappy. i learned how to love, to be in love, to give all you can give, to be more patient and understanding, to listen and shut up, to lower my pride (way way down), to forgive, to let go.

i learned that some friendship can survive unimaginable disasters and some end over very simple and little disagreements.

i learned that i am not special, important and popular as much as i thought i was. i learned that i cannot give and not expect anything in return. i ask for recognition, appreciation and attention. i learned to be more stupid, to listen to what my heart feels over what my head thinks. i learned to look past the surface and accept people for what they are truly worth. but there are people who act out of how they think people see them and end up denying the person they can be. i learned that despite of all self-worth and confidence i acquired, i still care of what other people think. i learned that "firsts" (first kiss, first commitment and relationship, first hurt, etc.) are overrated. waiting and "saving" them is a waste of time. once you feel it's right time, go for it. i learned that love is blind and stupid, but it cannot conquer all.

george and justine's wedding

i only have 5 things to say about their wedding: 1. it was the kind of wedding that would make you wish you're getting married too, soon! 2. the church, the place, the bride and groom, the wedding, they were all beautiful and perfect 3. george, i'm hiring your brother as photographer to my own wedding 4. it is the best wedding i've ever been to 5. i believe now that love could lift you to places, make you happier than you've ever imagined, and is really a very beautiful thing that is one of God's greatest blessings. to george and justine, we wish you a happy and beautiful marriage, and (as dennis said) an exciting honeymoon. i hope El Nido was perfect. we'll be waiting for the wedding pictures. i'm so excited to see them na! anyway, we'll stalk your site muna. :)