ok, i give up!

i'm supposed to be rendering OT right now. and though i'm still stuck here in the office, alone, at this time, i haven't really been working. (heck, look, i'm blogging!) when it comes to programming, my brain is most effective between 9pm to 4am. too bad, our clients are not based on the other side of the world. anyway, that's why i'm here, trying to get some work done. it had been a while since i've rendered OT. not because i have nothing to do, but because there's nothing worth getting tired for. geeky as it may sound, i love programming. i love to challenge myself and see how far i can figure things out. but eversince i've started taking on PM work, i haven't got enough time to develop. dont get me wrong, i also like doing PM work... but it's not enough to "inspire" me to go to work. every morning, i have to drag myself just to get here. and i come here only looking forward to playing DOTA at the end of the day. i've assigned a project to myself, half-hoping i could save my "interests". but now that i'm done with the "challenging" (read: new stuff) parts, i'm getting bored again. and this is NOT the time to get bored, my project is due in 3 weeks! so now, i'm seriously doubting the career path i chose. however, this is the only thing i can do. i am not musically inclined, i'm not artistic... i can cook but my cooking is not exceptional... and to say that you dance for a living wouldnt sound so nice. only if i could make a living from eating, watching movies, videoke or playing video games...