the evil in me

hey ***! i've been feeling real lousy lately. not sad.. . just lousy. 2nd case of QLC? well i must be 50 already! that would solve my previous problem then. i'm feeling this void in me, like i've lost something real important or missed something really great or did something really wrong. and though i *probably* know what's making me feel this way, there are no right words that can tell the story. anyway, i've been looking through my blog drafts and found this. it feels right to post it now. maybe this way i can sort out my feelings better and you'll understand. and i'll understand. and i won't feel bad anymore. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Created: Aug 3, 2005 3:16 AM i'm finally getting over this quarter-life crisis. i still haven't decided what i want to do with my career though. hehe! but i find that issue the least important at the moment. when i was undergoing my QLC, i was mostly angry. little things irritate me and i didn't care who i hurt. i hated my world. and i was hardest and harshest(?) to my closest friends. i realized... there were things in the past that have offended me, but i did not speak. and these things filled me up and i wanted revenge on everyone. anger was my excuse to release the evil in me. i am not a kind person, but i easily learn to care and love someone. when i love you, i will love you forever. but the more i love you, the harder it is to bear with me. it's because i ask you to be more understanding. *edit* and i thought, that of all people, you'll understand me most.