blah!

i know i know, my recent posts have been ma-drama. Just can't get this heavy quarter-life shit off my back. And this post may really be still ma-drama. Things have been so messed up at work, it's growing unto me. One of my office friends told me how it's just work and it shouldn't be stressing me as much. But all i can think about is how to keep this team together even when everybody's been demotivated... even me. I wish i have some love life to talk about like Jam. Hihi..! Now i know that can be pretty stressful but that's good stress! blah! (and for the nth time Movids, i'm not dating Pedro, ok? Get over it... :p) how do you separate the place from the people? during the last days of high school, i often said how i'll miss pisay so much. and Mark would say he'll miss the people, and not really pisay. i agreed. but every time i visit pisay, how come it still smells like home? i learned to love my teammates at work. but now with 2/3 of the team already gone, things have never been the same. we died. and here i am, trying to raise the dead! what is wrong with me?! i know i had to, but it's been so hard to move on. I just really hate it when people touch and go. and oh yeah, my punctuality is being questioned. well, i really don't know what's the question for when "punctual" does not even apply to me at work. they want me to come before 9am when like right now, it's 2am and i'm still in this shit hole. sigh, how do you become a morning person? If only i have a technical boss... I am on my way down the "wheel of life". I just want to know when i'll start going up again...

i'm changing my life

Somewhere along the way, i lost my sense of purpose. I have no place to go, and no deadlines to meet. And now that i've acknowledged that i temporarily have no worth in this world, i decided to change my life. Sometimes i scare myself...

fears --> topic list #2

Don't you sometimes think that kids are much braver than adults? You see, during my younger days, i never learned to do cartwheels nor to swim. I was too afraid to bump my head or drown. It's crazy, but these are two of the things i feel necessary to know in this life. And it seems that as i get older, my used-to-be minimal fears keeps growing (like fear of heights, rats, etc). I admit it, i'm a grown-up coward. And i need a cure for it. Of course, rats or bumping of my head would be the least frightening in my list. My greatest fear is brought about my selfishness and vanity. Just thinking of the possibility it could happen throws me deep down the hole of depression. And I'm so sad because of the things that are happening in my life right now, the chance it might happen just grows bigger. As much as i want to, i can never say nor talk about my greatest fear. The effect of doing so would be like going back to the past and changing something, even a minor detail.

tama yan, mag-aral kang mag-drive

So for the past weeks, i've been asking some of my friends to set me up on a blind date. (in case you wanna ask, i just want to MEET new people. not yet interested in a relationship, probably til June. hehe!) So a few nights ago, my friend Lorie asked me if it'll be ok for me to date her boyfriend's friend named Pedro (i was instantly interested because of his name. I mean, may tao palang Pedro ang pangalan sa totoong buhay?!) She went on saying how handsome Pedro is and how he's got a great body. But then she said, "kaso lang, wala syang kotse". Just to let you guys know, i still said ok (pero di pa natutuloy yung date and i doubt my friend took me seriously. hehe!), kahit na wala syang kotse and hindi porke gwapo at maganda DAW ang katawan nya. Puede naman kasi kaming mag-taxi di ba? :D

jae, jam and others...

di ko pa rin gets sino si "patty laurel". sino na kasi?!