one of those days

i really try not to rant or be so pathetic in blogs anymore. maybe that's why i don't blog anymore. but i'm having one of those days, where i feel pathetic already anyway. so what the heck? i'm hoping writing it will help me make me feel better. i just have to let it out right? and is there a better audience than xxxx strangers in the world wide web? well.. no. i still don't feel better. okay, let's just try again tomorrow.

not so long ago...

• i would be at red box or IO every other week
• i rarely miss a movie
• i would always have something planned for friday night
• i do not need to color my hair
• my friends would always blog
• i blog

so far this is how life turned out to be.

well...

what's taking you so long?

belated happy birthday, sakura minds speaks!

bah! i was waiting for it all june and then i totally missed it! early last month i realized this blog was turning five and i've been waiting for that day to blog and celebrate it. but then a lot of things happened in life and i completely forgot about it. oh well, they always say it's better late than never... so to celebrate this blog's 5th birthday (last June 29), i thought i'd pick out some of my favorite posts, one from each year. click on the title to the see the original blog post. :) 1. nostalgic attack (July 6, 2004) i love love high school. even now, i still think high school were some of the best years of my life. i don't think i'll be the person i am today if my father had not been adamant 15 years ago that i study in pisay. i like this post a lot because one, it was one of the first blogs i posted and so it has some sentimental value. and two, whenever i read it, it never fails to make me smile and make me nostalgic. so for my high school friends who'll be looking into it, i hope it transports you back to the mid-90s too. 2. to the last 7 years (Dec 21, 2005) i have actually forgotten about this one. i just rediscovered it when i was browsing through old posts to see which would make it to this blog. i know i've written a lot of "self-evaluation" blogs over the years. but i particularly like this one because with the other (similar) blogs, i just basically write about what i already know of myself. but this one was about the things that i did not know about me until i thought deeply about it in order to write it (in the blog!). i hope you understand the difference. one of the things that i still have not learned is to communicate better. hehe! 3. faboulously single (Oct 3, 2006) actually i just wanted to re-share this one. because until now, almost 3 years later, i still feel the very same way! most of my best girl friends are already married and most of the very few single ones left are out of the country. i have a lot of single guy friends but as i much as i love them (and i know they care about me too), nothing beats some serious girl time. 4. the trip so far (Jul 8, 2007) my trip to Oslo was really special. it was my first time in Europe and Oslo is a really charming place to be in. thinking back now, it seems very unreal and i feel like i was in a magical place then. i was also away for a month in a foreign land, and during those times i have learned how to survive loneliness and deal with problems on my own, since i had very limited access to my friends and support system. 5. drunken post (Jun 11, 2008) i tried to drunk-post several times again after this one. but i always end up falling asleep before i can finish the post. and though there's always a draft saved, once you look at it when you're sober, it's not the same and not worth posting anymore. so i like this post, even if it does not really make much sense, because it made it to publishing! and drunk-posting is also fun. most of the time i still have enough sense in me to edit some things, but at the same time i always feel bolder to say what's in my mind. it's also liberating because i just immediately write about whatever it is that pops in my head. and it's okay if it does not make sense because you can always use the excuse that you were drunk when you posted it. :D lastly, the content of this blog (movie test for the movie buff in you - May 29, 2006) does not really mean much, but it's worth mentioning because i think it's the one that got the most comments. and i still like playing this game. so this is my birthday gift to sakura mind speaks. and as how blog commenting became "obsolete" when RSS feeds and google reader became popular, i just hope this blog would still survive despite Twitter and Plurk being born. if not, at the very least, it would always be great to have something where i can look back and remind me of the experiences i've had and shared.

adventures of a first-time driver

so i've been taking driving lessons these past 3 days and i'm already halfway through the "course". my decision to seriously learn how to drive was a bit spontaneous. i decided last Monday to take a leave on Thursday, to get my student permit (and do some errands). that day also, i enrolled in a driving school and my first lesson was last Saturday. see, you get things done when you decide to do them the last minute. anyway, i'll say this is really my first time to drive. back in college, my friend Vincent tried to teach me using his Volkswagen, and i would argue that that is not counted. we would only drive in UP for about 500m and i don't think i went past 20kph nor first gear. now the accelerator of the VW was "high" that i'd need to step on it almost halfway through before it would start moving. so i was quite surprised when i tried driving another car, which unfortunately was Hombre's car. :D it just happened once, we were in Pisay and i almost killed someone from Batch 97 in the volleyball court/parking lot. i wasn't really taught how to break properly (nuninu...) so the only thing that stopped me (or the car) was the engine dying. that is actually the last time i was in the driver seat too. i was sort of traumatized and scared for almost hitting someone (yes, i have a conscience too). and i'm sure i scared Hombre and Cris (who i think was also in the car) too since they wouldn't stop shouting and cursing. (i'm so so sorry!) now i have learned my lesson and gotten over the experience. and i have decided that maybe the best way to learn is to pay someone 700 an hour to "lend" me his car and teach me to drive without shouting regardless of what mistake i do. and so far:

• first day: i learned to be very good with the brake this time. i still find the gas pedal too sensitive though so i believe i wasted too much gas. engine died on me twice in about 20 times i have to start from a stopped position.
• second day: i sorta learned to park backwards. not sure if i can do it without the instructor though. hehe! engine died on me thrice in about 40+ attempts but i still use too much gas when i'm starting.
• third day: i spent about 30 minutes getting out of ayala avenue. engine died on me twice also but considering that i had to drive through heavy traffic (with many many stops), that's already an improvement. i don't think i wasted as much gas as yesterday but it was still a bit excessive. i was taught to do a U-turn via 2-point turn and 3-point turn. he also taught me to move from a hanging position, but i don't really think i really learned that. the unfortunate event is he had to pull the handbrake on me twice. :( first time was somewhere in ayala, when a bus moved to my lane (it's hard to gauge how long it is). and the second time was just a minute before our lessons ended, it was already somewhere in glorietta and i almost hit the rear of a taxi. both times he did not raise his voice... man, i admire that kind of patience.

so that last handbrake incident depressed me a bit. i felt like a lost in some sort of game and i think the last time i felt something like that is when i played my best character in DoTA and we ended up losing. the only thing that is cheering me up a bit is thinking that there are still some guys my age who don't really know how to drive yet (sino nga ba? if you are one of those guys, please let me know and make me happy). i am competitive and i am taking this very seriously... i will not lose! now.. i wonder if my father would let me take measurements and draw lines on the hood of his Vios so i would have a better perspective of that front side from the driver's seat. i guess that would be my project this weekend.