two me's ago

Day 16 » Another picture of yourself.

It's my dad 60th birthday on Saturday. And so i've been asking my friend J to scan a lot of pictures for me so i can make it into an AVP. Some old pics of mine got mixed into the pile as well and so i've rediscovered old memories like this one.

This picture was taken inside our old house. Before my parents were able to buy our own house and lot, we were renting this old Spanish style house. And yes, there was a grotto inside the house, in the sala area. It would have been very nice house, if it was maintained well. It got demolished after we moved out.

Apparently a grotto with a pond in the sala area is not the only weird thing in this picture. Looking at it now, i can't help but think, "why the hell am i wearing the same thing as the sofa cushions?!"

turning 30

i have 5 months before i reach the big 3-0. it's making me more depressed every second.


i used to have a lot of goals that i thought i would be able to do before i turn 30. but the stupid, idealistic me from before never thought that most of those goals are out of my control, or would be too grand to execute.


number one in that list was to be a housewife. obviously that's not gonna happen now and it's definitely out of my control. i need to find a husband first, which is also hard to control.


the second one was to tour Europe. i was able to go to Norway and Spain a few years back for a business trip. but where i've always wanted to go was to Paris, London and Greece.


now this second goal may still be possible to achieve. my only problem is that in the next 5 months, those cities would probably be frozen solid. and it will not be a very good idea to tour around when it's cold. this is the only thing keeping me from buying a ticket now (and secondary is the cost of the ticket!).


also, i've seen Taken! and the disadvantage of being single at this age with many married friends is that i currently don't have any Euro-trip mates yet. so i'm being paranoid of going on a trip alone. I don't have Liam Neeson or a former spy for a father, what will i do??


i don't know. should i just give up now? or come up with a relatively more practical goal like Jam's "six-pack abs"? maybe i can just skip forward to a mid-life crisis and buy a really impractical car (which i've also been considering lately).


how about you? what do you want to do before you turn thirty?

my murtaugh list

last thursday, i was out with my friend Richie. while we were hanging out at Nuvo to supposedly have dessert, we had to discuss if we should get drinks as well. now this is worth mentioning since before i turned 28, going out with Richie would automatically involve alcohol (he's my most B.I. friend ever. :P). the reason is, as i've explained to him, i am trying to stop (or at least minimize) drinking. i just feel like i'm past that phase anymore. the drinking then getting woozy, then being so embarrassingly loud, then sometimes throwing up, then waking up with a really bad headache and weird tummy --- that does not sound as fun as it was before. and maybe it's just coincidence or it's really what made me realize it, but the last time i experienced all these was the day before my 28th birthday. so now, when a party or event involves shots (or at least pure dosages) of alcohol, i try not to drink at all (it would be harder to stop then). "so it's like you're too old for that stuff..." well, maybe? i don't know. i'm not saying i will never drink again, but i'm trying not to get drunk again. and then something ironic happened. when i got home, i watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother which turned out to be the "Murtaugh" episode. it's about Ted having a list of "i'm too old for this shit" stuff. taking it as a challenge, Barney took Ted's Murtaugh list and made a bet with Ted that he will do every thing on that list within the next 24 hours. in the end, Barney lost the bet. but Ted realized that even though Roger Murtaugh kept complaining that he was too old to be doing all that stuff, he ended up doing four Lethal Weapon movies and just kept doing more stuff every time. i know there comes a time in your life when you're expected to act your age and be an adult. but it was also fun when you were younger and just cared a bit less about the consequences, right? so maybe once in a while, it will be healthy for the heart to re-experience those silly stuff on your Murtaugh list. what do you think? i've got five items right now on my list. now, if you can suggest something that would belong to a Murtaugh list, i would like to take five more. then i'll try to do them all before June ends. any ideas? :D

reflection

i am 28 years old and most of the time i feel old. i have always thought that at 28, i'd be "retired" from work and would be moving on to my dream vocation. when i was younger, i did not dream of becoming a doctor, or someone powerful. i dreamed of becoming a housewife. i took engineering in college because i did not want to be stuck in an office cube for at least 8 hours a day. but in the end i chose software over hardware. i did not dream of climbing the corporate ladder. but i have always been very competitive. i have my weak points but generally, i think i am smart. i take pride in having attended and surviving the best schools in the country. i have been accused of having a "superiority-complex". sometimes, i think i really do. my dream career would be something related to performance arts or entertainment. i love to dance but is disappointed that i did not really pursue it and did not improve. i am frustrated of having only the skills to learn a lot of the basics, but not have the capacity to excel at anything. i am single right now. i am not looking, but i am waiting for him to come. i am a coward. i am afraid of many things, like the dark or of heights or taking risks. but i am most afraid of being alone. i can overcome my fears if i have someone to push me and who believes in me. i have trust issues, which sometimes translates to commitment issues. i have fallen in love with several boys and men, but i would only admit and own up to two. i believe that my past relationships failed because deep in my heart i did not believe they would succeed. i believe that i would still meet the love of my life, and then i wouldn't have to hold back. i find it harder to express love to the people i love most. i love my friends and family. but it's them who i take for granted the most. i don't remember being able to look into someone's face or eyes and tell them i love them even if i really mean it, even if they were asleep. when forced to admit my emotions in public, i get defensive by getting angry. i have a bad temper, and i have the tendency to be carried away by my emotions. i can be quite mean, but i really want to become a better person. i would like to try to stop swearing. and i will never ever smoke again even just to prove a point. i want to have faith and believe. i have several personalities, and what comes out depends on who i am with. i tend to over-think a lot of things, which is why i usually find it hard to sleep at night. most of the time, i would like to escape. but i'm more afraid of facing the consequences later on. i am currently lost, and confused. i am tired. i will sleep.

the birthday blog

first of all, thanks to everyone who greeted me through text or email or facebook. and thanks to everyone who took the time to celebrate my birthday with me. :) so for those who were asking or just curious, my birthday celebration is going well so far. and no, the celebration itself is not yet over... it always takes me a whole week to "celebrate". :D unlike last year (and though i wanted to), i was not able to have a birthday party this year. mostly because my birthday fell on the worst day of the week, which is Monday. i cannot celebrate the weekend before because i have a wedding to attend to. and i cannot celebrate the weekend after because i'll definitely be spending that time in MOA watching the Eraserheads concert. another reason is i already spent my birthday party budget to buy gifts for myself. selfish, i know. hihihi! :D but even party-less, a lot of things happened/will happen this week that's making me happy:

• my birthday celebration with my college friends last Saturday (after the wedding we attended). for a while now, i know the rule that you should NEVER drink more than 1 type of hard liquor if you want to avoid humiliation (especially not tequila AND vodka!). but for some reason, i keep forgetting that rule when i'm drinking with friends. so since my 26th birthday celebration with these guys, i always end up getting sooooo drunk.
• finally was able to bring my family to Contis last Sunday for my birthday celebration as well. antagal ko na sila gusto pakainin dun eh.
• dinner with my pisay friends on Monday night. compared to my college friends, my high school friends are the "wholesome" ones. no drinks, just a lot of food but i had so much fun as well.
• the gifts! so far i got a necklace from my parents, headphones from J, DVD of the movie 21 from Ria, and DVD of Wall-e plus Marvel 1602 comics from Jam and Luz (and Allen?). Update: I also got pretty flowers and a new Wii game from my friend Richie. Weee!
• Nox came for a visit (from the US) and he bought a Wii for me! so i got my Wii for only half the price!
• my boots will be delivered tomorrow! i'm so excited. :D Update: they came today and they are nice! i can't wait for the next pair. :D
• i'm watching "I Love You Because" on Friday. yay! i already missed a lot of plays last year so i'm not missing this one.
• and of course there's the Eraserheads Final Set on Saturday!

work is still stressful as always and i'm really trying to keep myself in a good mood. it has not been too hard for this week though since there's a lot of things around to lift me up. (there's been some "bad news" earlier though, but i think that deserves a different blog post). oh, and my birthday wish? i just want to be really happy. i don't want to be a robot anymore. heheh! :) now then, it's time to get serious and grow up.

birthday wish list

1. a masquerade party 2. winning lotto ticket 3. vacation trip to Europe 4. ticket to singapore to watch the Cats show 5. a condo which i don't have to rent 6. wiii 7. wiii games 8. DVDs 9. revolving DVD rack 10. good surprises!

dahil nami-miss ko nang mag-blog

sobra sobrang toxic lately. tinatawanan na nga ako ng friends ko kasi nag-remark ako minsan, "pumasok ako ngayon (holiday) para di ko na ako papasok sa sabado." apparently maraming mali dun sa statement na yun. anyway, iniisip ko na lang na dapat matapos na ito kaagad at naghihintay na ang aking 1 month leave. ------------------------------------------------------------ i miss my friends. a few weeks before nung homecoming, i meet up with friends almost everyday. di bale nang magastos. but since busy lately, i barely get to see anyone anymore. pag may oras kasi, kelangan yata itulog ko na lang. nami-miss ko na rin matulog eh. ------------------------------------------------------------ hmmmm... mukhang kelangan ko na uli maggupit ng kuko. sana matuloy. excited na ako! :D ------------------------------------------------------------ sigh.. mukhang hindi na ako makakapanood ng west-side story. sorry ola and lino. ------------------------------------------------------------ speaking of musicals, at dahil sa kapapanood ko ng Animax, gusto ko sana makapanood ng Muscle Musical. unfortunately, sa Japan at Las Vegas lang may show. ------------------------------------------------------------ "o kay tagal din kitang minahal..." - Burnout by Sugarfree ayan, tapos na.

another list

more than 2 years ago, i made this list. six months after that, i got to this point. scratching off 5 items out of 10 was indeed a very good sign. but then i did this, and it all went downhill from there again (bye-bye list). over the weekend, Jam and I had this conversation about things we want to do. actually, it's been a series of conversation i've been having with some friends, and mostly they are items i've been meaning/wanting to do but as usual, never got around to doing. but with Jam's encouragement (and now a possible "partner-in-crime" in these activities), i'm making a new list. 1. pay credit card debts 2. take driving lessons 3. get braces (still on the fence with this one though, but i'm putting it in!) 4. join a gym (instead of dance classes) 5. learn to swim yes, unlike Jam i am only putting in 5 items. because unlike him, he has proven he has great will power and self-control. so far, i've only proven that those are almost non-existent traits of mine. also, in case you didn't notice, these things would require some money. and getting that money would require that i change certain parts of my lifestyle. now these changes are the tougher ones, and form the second part of my list: 1. find a cheaper apartment 2. limit splurges on very good but very expensive food (ergo, find a new stress reliever) 3. start cooking again (no more to everyday take-outs for dinner!) 4. limit DVD and book purchases (i guess i should avoid malls now) and the hardest one of all... 5. avoid being late for work and working "for free" (no idea whatsoever how i'd even begin to do this) that's it. wish me luck!

i just wanna gloat

pagbigyan nyo na ako please... :D 12 or 13 years ago, i was able to fulfill one of my secret ambitions in life. and that is to rock! back then, digicams and video cams are not very common things for a high school student to have. so you'll barely see proof of the coolest moments of my life. except maybe for very unflattering shots such as this: now, they are all very well documented! (and can be edited. :p) i enjoyed our performance so much. and i hope we'd be able to play again soon. for now, enjoy our version of "Ang Huling El Bimbo". we originally did not plan to play this, and was about to play Plush instead. however, we were so inspired and touched by the Eraserheads reunion concert that we just had to play something they never had the chance to play. about 3 hours worth of practice for this, hope we did it justice at least. :) ok, now i am done gloating. i promise to post a more sensible homecoming post later. but for now, i have to sleep... and continue dreaming.

10 things i know about me (but you probably don't)

so after excitedly asking mapet to tag me, it still took me more than 3 months to do this. why? because i could not come up with 10 interesting things that people don't know about me. this realization has brought me to the conclusion that my life is either very uninteresting, or too much of an open book (or maybe both). hehe! anyway, let me still try this:

1. i now own 137 all-original movie DVDs.
2. i have a lot of quirks when it comes to food. for example, i really love mangoes but i don't like and don't drink mango juice. i don't eat hotdog that is served as topping in spaghetti. i hate ketchup but when it is "cooked" or used as substitute for tomato sauce like in spaghetti sauce, then it is alright.
3. i was already 13 when i first got to eat pizza and (non-homemade) hamburgers. that is because i thought the tomato sauce in the pizza is ketchup, and that all hamburgers have ketchup. it was in first year high school that i discovered Wendy's and their bacon cheeseburger.
4. speaking of burgers, i've never had a Big Mac nor a Champ.
5. i only like to cook when i'm cooking for someone.
6. i am attracted to guys who look good with a shaved head (carefully not using the word "bald" here. hehehe!) or someone who can sing really well without looking gay. :D
7. one of my guilty pleasures is the movie "A Walk to Remember". like the movie, hate Mandy Moore, love Shane West's character. but i don't have it on DVD.
8. sleeping with the aircon is not enough, i need to have an electric fan as well to direct the cold air to me.
9. i really really like musicals. and one of my greatest ambitions is to be part of one (but i cannot sing).
10. sometimes i wish i am taller. but sometimes i am frustrated for being "too tall" since i can't dress cute (errr, something like with ribbons and curls? :P).

Ayun lang. Anyone wants to be tagged? :)

still wide awake

damn it, my sleeping pattern/body clock is really really messed up now. ------------------------------------------- i miss my friends. yun lang.

DVD Wish List

I've been on DVD-buying hiatus for about 2 months now. I need help finding/getting these DVDs. As far as i know, they are not available here. So if any of you is traveling and is in the mood to shop for DVDs, and/or you've recently been to a store and you saw any of these is already available, please please let me know. Of course there are budget constraints, so we'd have to talk about it first. If you're buying it as a gift though... well, i always love good surprises. :D Click here to see my full and current wish-list.

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Reality Bites (10th Anniversary Edition) Manufacturer: Universal Studios Price: $3.91 Learn More

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With Honors Manufacturer: Warner Home Video Price: $3.99 Learn More

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The Cutting Edge - Gold Medal Edition Manufacturer: MGM (Video & DVD) Price: $6.22 Learn More

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The Rock - Criterion Collection Manufacturer: Walt Disney Video Price: $18.50 Learn More

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Face/Off (Two-Disc Special Collector's Edition) Manufacturer: Paramount Price: $10.44 Learn More

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Being John Malkovich Manufacturer: Universal Studios Price: $6.57 Learn More

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Flatliners Manufacturer: Sony Pictures Price: $4.20 Learn More

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Lost in Translation Manufacturer: Universal Studios Price: $2.65 Learn More

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Edward Scissorhands (Collectible Tin Anniversary Edition) Manufacturer: 20th Century Fox Price: $14.49 Learn More

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Pretty Woman (15th Anniversary Special Edition) Manufacturer: Buena Vista Home Entertainment / Touchstone Price: $9.48 Learn More

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2-Disc Collector's Edition) Manufacturer: Universal Studios Price: $13.68 Learn More

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Gangs of New York (Two-Disc Collector's Edition) Manufacturer: Miramax Home Entertainment Price: $4.93 Learn More

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Sideways (Widescreen Edition) Manufacturer: 20th Century Fox Price: $3.94 Learn More

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Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (Box Set) Manufacturer: Miramax Price: $49.90 Learn More

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The Rainmaker Manufacturer: Paramount Price: $5.28 Learn More

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The Man in the Iron Mask Manufacturer: MGM (Video & DVD) Price: $5.17 Learn More

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Pulp Fiction (Two-Disc Collector's Edition) Manufacturer: Miramax Entertainment Price: $10.42 Learn More

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Runaway Bride (Widescreen Edition) Manufacturer: Paramount Price: $4.49 Learn More

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Leon - The Professional (Uncut International Version) Manufacturer: Sony Pictures Price: $6.95 Learn More

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The Italian Job (Special Collector's Edition) Manufacturer: Paramount Price: $5.00 Learn More

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Pan's Labyrinth (New Line Two-Disc Platinum Series) Manufacturer: New Line Home Video Price: $14.99 Learn More

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The Game Manufacturer: Universal Studios Price: $6.69 Learn More

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Mirrormask Manufacturer: Sony Pictures Price: $5.71 Learn More

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The Wedding Singer - Totally Awesome Edition Manufacturer: New Line Home Video Price: $7.69 Learn More

partey!!!

as you prolly noticed, i have been looking forward to my birthday (umm.. let's count how many blogs i made related to it...). obviously, i wasn't excited about getting old. i was actually very much excited to the celebration i have been wanting to have for years. and last night, it finally happened. :D my "party" was held in the Top Grill restaurant in Jupiter Street, Makati. i chose it because it was near and seems accessible, and when i was there once, i noticed that their prices are not that steep. the food isn't bad at all, and they also have videoke. only you would have to sing on the stage! :D i really really wanted to invite a lot of people. but there were still budget constraints since (as you know) i have no savings whatsoever, and i also need to keep some money because i will probably be moving again (which will cost about 3-months worth of rent). i'm really sorry about that. i originally had a guest list of about 50 people, and i counted 29 attended last night. it was too bad though that lots of people couldn't make it, and some even canceled the last minute (too bad since i could have invited more people if i only knew... :P). by the way, you guys would still HAVE TO make up for it (paging Jonas, Novis and Tami). hehe! :P but anyway, i am really really thankful to all that came. my birthday has really been special because you were all there with me. my favorite moment was when everyone sang "happy birthday" when the clock struck 12mn. it was expected, but it was still special when it happened. thanks so much again! :'D

my pisay friends. they turned on the smoke machine that is why the picture is a bit blurry.

my college "wehehe" friends.

my friends from work.

someone needs to start using the videoke and sing on stage. but no one was gonna do it first. so i requested Oliver to do it with me. and after that, the dam was wide open. :D me with my best and longest friends. my birthday "loot". the gift from J has gone missing though. waah! i'm sorry. i wonder where it went. :(

overall, i'd say the party was a success. most of the people i wanted to be there were there. there seems to be enough food and drinks for everyone, and still i didn't go over budget. i had so much fun and i hope everyone else too. and by the end of the night, i was wasted. :P see you all again next year. :) more pics will be available in my multiply site soon. check them out. :)

my 26th year

most people try to "analyze" the year that was around New Year's. but i thought it would be nice to have a look back to my 26th year instead. it was a pretty interesting year as i got to try and experience a lot of something new and different. and i want to sort of "immortalize" those memories here in my blog. i found this new year's blog from Rea's multiply site, and i thought it would be the perfect way to look back to the year that was. ------------------------------------------------ 1. Did you do something you thought you would never do? ~ Yes. Run a marathon. 2. Did you visit any countries? ~ Yes! Been to Oslo, Norway and Madrid, Spain. :D 3. What would you like to have this year that you lacked last year? ~ Hmm.. a really good investment or some savings. :P 4. Will any date from last year stay attached in your memory forever? ~ July 9, 2007 is a good candidate. :P 5. What was your biggest achievement last year? ~ Finishing the Urbanathlon! 6. What was your biggest failure? ~ Does "getting fat" qualify? 7. Did you suffer illness or injury? ~ Well, i learned that i have hyperthyroidism. 8. What was the best thing you bought? ~ My DVDs. :D 9. Where did you spend most of your money? ~ DVDs, comic books and food. 10. Are you happier than this time last year? ~ March 2, 2008 is definitely better than March 2, 2007. So i guess, yes. :) 11. Did you get your heart broken last year? ~ Yes. 12. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? ~ Yes, though "hate" is a really strong word. "Indifferent" is much much better. 13. Who was the best new person you met? ~ A new friend. 14. Who will you never forget? ~ I never forget. ;P 15. What will you always remember about being 26? ~ That it is a year of "firsts"... first time i've been out of Asia and been to Europe, first time i got a travel visa, first time i've been cheated on, first time that i am completely and undeniably single, etc. :P ------------------------------------------------ thanks to everyone who has been there and was part of my 26th year here on earth. I wish you'll still be with me now and many more years from now. last year has been great, but i am still hoping 27 will be much much better. :)